Thanks

Michael Frayn

ß BACK

Dear Uncle Arthur,

Thank you for your extremely generous Christmas present. I don’t know how you guessed, but socks were exactly what I wanted.

What socks, too! I have looked it up and see that it is the Macpherson tartan. And how clever of you to remember that I take size seven!

tartan: pattern used on Scottish clothes

Dear Aunt Millie,

How very kind of you to remember me at Christmas! And with socks, too! In fact socks were quite the nicest present I received — size ten was just right, and the very delicate mauve will go excellently with a yellow suit. I must try to get one.

Dear Mrs Thimble,

I can’t tell you how touched I am that you still go on remembering us ‘children’ (as I suppose you still think of us!!) every year. And socks were just what I needed. I particularly like the pretty blue ribbons they do up with — they match perfectly the bluebells on the matinee jacket you gave me last Christmas. I shall certainly think of you every time I wear them.

Dear Great-Uncle Alexander

I scarcely know what to say! I must admit I had been secretly hoping that someone would give me socks — and you did! Socks are always handy to have — and yours were so cleverly and appropriately Christmassy. I don’t think I have ever seen socks with a pattern of holly and mistletoe before, though my favourites are the ‘Yuletide Lafter’ pair. Some of the jokes printed on them are almost too good to keep hidden under one’s trouser-leg!

mistletoe: plant which grows on trees, used for decoration at Christmas

‘Yuletide Lafter’: Christmas Laughter

Dear Great-Aunt Tilly

I must write at once to thank you for your magnificent present. I can’t tell you what my feelings were when I opened that huge parcel and found it contained — a pair of socks!

It was very clever of you to choose a pair with one red and one grey. They make a great change from the ordinary run of socks, and I shall keep them for very special occasions. And how thoughtful of you to remember that my right foot is two inches longer than my left!

I hope you haven’t been having any more trouble with your eyesight recently.

Dear Aunt Clara,

Socks! I scarcely know what to say! What ever should I do without my annual supply of socks from you? I suppose I ought really to thank Aunt Millie, who first put the idea into your head fifteen years ago by showing a snapshot of me on a Boy Scout hike. Yes, as you say, a Boy Scout can always do with another pair of socks.

I was very struck by the pattern. As you know, I have distant American connections on my mother’s side, so the stars and stripes motif is particularly suitable.

snapshot: photograph

hike: long walk

Dear Aunt Lou,

I scarcely know what to say! Socks! Well, what a surprise! I’m particularly touched because I can see at a glance that they’re home-knitted. You can’t buy socks like that in the shops! They never manage to get the heel quite as comfortably far forward on shop-bought socks as you have, and they always make them so ridiculously tightly knit. You can suffocate a foot without plenty of air-spaces in the sock.

How did you guess I took size fifteen?

ß TOP